Baawara mann...

This evening while i was using coffee to stay awake in an extremely boring session of Daily Management (something..ZZZ) in tarapur, my eyes fell on my feet and a feeling of disgust rose in my stomach. With broken stained nails , parched dry skin and discolored ankle bone, they could actually compete with..well with someone's ugly feet. While I was still thinking of pedicure, my hand reached my face where I could feel the newly emerging developments likely to leave some permanent memories of bihar dust and orissa sweat on my face. I also realised how dry and thin my hair were getting and actually felt like dead graying threads forced to tag along wasted flesh. As my hand reached for another of those chocolate biscuits (comfort food) I thought of my alarmingly increasing weight.
Just when I was absorbed in these appreciative thoughts, I saw one of my most annoying customer's number flashing on my cell (on silent mode ofcourse). Now that I was attending this stupid training program, I could obviously not do much about this jerk. I am Screwed. I reached for another biscuit. (I am sure not all sales managers need to compete with Kareena kapoor..huh!!)
If you are still with me, then probably you are thinking that the blog was dedicated to my continuous self obsession but rather what I want to talk about here is how we guys have complicated our lives. Work, money, family, personal life, looks, peace, there are just so many things calling for our time that may of us run away from this chaos to get comfort in some of the most useless tools like drinking, smoking, clubbing, drugs, partying, gtalking, facebooking, blogging n what not.
There are those who think they should have better as they deserve it, while there are those who think that they need to be in a better position simply because their present situation sucks pretty much. I wish I was the former, but unfortunately I belong to the second category. i have issues with just about everything in my life, all my priorities are screwed and I strongly think that there are millions in this world with this compulsive-hate-urself disorder. However it is actually the first category which catches my fancy.
The self assured classic fools who actually think they are a gift to mankind. i mean i just dont know how can anyone stay so happy with themselves when they do what they do, look the way they look and basically are what they are but no matter whats happens to them in life, there finger always finds someone in vicinity to lay an accusation upon. I so wish i could be like one these guys. One of those girls who would actually get a predicure and be happy rather than fret about latent issues behind bad feet days..who would take bad feet as a cause of distress and not the effect.
i wish we could want less out of life, specially when it comes to our eternal quest for improvement towards perfection. i wish my need for results was mitigated by my love for myself and my self respect was sheilded by my vanity. Alas it is not the case, like millions m suffering from the hazaron-khwaashien-aisi-syndrome.
I think m losing track of time now...too sleepy...last one week in bihar was amazing bullshit..would talk about that some other day...some intelligent guy told me to stop wasting time on useless things like internet..i wish i would listen to him but uff yeh baawara mann..kya kya karwata hai!!